Safe to Dream!
NYU Prison Education Program Graduation at Wallkill, NY. 2023.
Deciding to pursue a college degree while incarcerated was a unique experience. Though so much of the future beyond prison was uncertain and so many memories of yesteryears remind me of how bad I was at school, it was something I chose to do, when I was alone, in a cell. I had no idea that serving time mixed with a simple desire to grow would inspire me to face this ultimate test: going in the direction of my fears. I couldn’t anticipate how stretched I was about to be; stretched beyond my imagination; pushed out and beyond the boundaries of what I thought was possible, for me, my family, my community.
4/27/2020 — I was faced with the liberating but daunting task of rebuilding my life. I knew deeply that education was the path but wasn’t sure where it would lead. What happens after I graduate? Will I have a job in my chosen field? Will I be good enough? I was at Ignacio House, so I was safe; safe to learn; safe to reflect and explore; safe to take root and feel the urge to grow. I first discovered my creative freedom by designing our community library — at the Bronx Ignacio House. Through continued support, I grew in my craft and began practicing photography. I didn’t envision it as a potential career path. If I’m honest, I only cared about the learning and developing a process; how to be good. So everyday I would practice; looking or creating opportunities to make and edit photos. I was aware of how bad of a photographer I was, so I figured if I could accelerate the learning process by actually doing it every day, I would be a good photographer sooner than later.
The confidence to learn was the greatest achievement of my incarceration. It has won me so much freedom since my release. Anything can be learned! Sure. Learning takes time. But with patience and continual practice, anything can be mastered. Through the camera I discovered so much freedom and unlocked new learning paths that I didn’t know was an option for me. As I immersed myself in the art of witnessing and storytelling through my photography, I realized the power it gave me to discern, to witness, to empathize, and shed light on hidden narratives communicated through space and design and the everyday things. It became my tool for self-care, self-expression and advocacy—a medium through which I could share my experiences and connect with others on a deeper level.
11/7/2022, I was honored with fellowships that allowed me to travel and experience worlds beyond the one I know and despite moments of feeling small, shrinking within myself or I didn’t belong, I showed up and did the best I could do. Embarking on these fellowships, one to Central Europe and the other to Spain, was not merely a journey of physical travel but also a profound exploration of the self in relation to one’s past and one's place in the world.
In these moments of vulnerability, I confronted the limits of my own perspective and confronted deeply ingrained insecurities that I didn't know had carried. It was a journey of confronting my own limitations that whispered doubt and uncertainty, urging me to retreat into familiar spaces of comfort and familiarity. But I pressed forward.
Ultimately, these experiences were transformative, reshaping not only my worldview but also my sense of self and community. They taught me the invaluable lesson that growth often arises from moments of discomfort and vulnerability, and that true belonging is found in embracing the richness of one's own unique journey and that of others.
